The mind is an interesting topic for me because of its complexity. The mind controls body functions and translates pain, as to location and severity and can help promote healing, which is great. I have the power to reason and decide my responses based on the mind’s previous experiences.
My mind also provokes emotion of joy and happiness, jealousy and anger. It perceives reality, but not genuine reality. It perceives its own reality based on my experience’s, environment and functionality of each part and chemical makeup of my brain. While others feel happiness, I may feel depression because of my mind’s reality.
As a combat veteran, I too had suffered from what has been called gun shy, shell-shocked and post-traumatic stress syndrome. While they are real and have been diagnosed as mental conditions, to me it is brain conditioning. If I’m in an environment of violence, my mind conditions me to react, invoking my survival response of flight or fight, flee or stay. In my experiences, if this response is unchecked, my mind will magnify its response. This magnification, in my opinion, increases adrenaline and other flight or fight endorphins. Basically, turning my mind into an adrenaline junkie.
Three things kept me from turning to the dark side. My wife, family, and my faith. Shelia put up with my actions and consoled me during dark times. Family being understanding and supportive. Faith gave me the power to overcome a mind I had little control over. When I felt I had the power to control my mind. I wouldn’t accept my mind’s perception of my reality. As each emotion producing my flight or fight response emerged, I would recite Matthew 4:10 to put the emotion in my emotional lock box.
Putting these emotions into my internal lock box was like trying to put a cat into a sack. It took many tries to lock it away. This took 27 years to detoxify my mind. But it doesn’t end there. My mind continues to think what I call evil thoughts. Armed with the power to control my mind, evil thoughts still encroach, but they’re rejected by my conscience, giving me peace.
If you keep looking backwards, you’ll never see what’s coming.
I am not a psychiatric doctor, therapist, or a counselor. What I am writing is my experiences and mine alone. I write this to provoke thought and to entertain.